Andrew Erkins
Getting Unstuck with Decision Making

My emotions before meeting ABA

I was feeling overwhelmingly stuck, and frustrated by that fact. This frustration would bubble over into other negative emotions.

There was something I was aspiring towards, and it felt like it was always out of reach. I was frustrated that what I was attempting to do wasn’t working, and I didn’t know why.

Why I felt resistance hiring a business coach?

I have this thing about being sold to. It comes from a place of having worked with coaches in the past, and I didn’t get what they told me I would get.

I was afraid this would happen again, and I wouldn’t get what I want. That also relates to money. I'd had bad previous experiences with coaches who charged me money, and I didn’t get what I wanted, because they made promises they couldn’t keep.

I was really worried about whether or not that would happen here. ABA isn’t a small amount of money, so I was worried about getting a good result

What got Andrew to take the first step?

Mike has a presence that is observable. There is an intention with which he holds space, and I have a story that describes this well to answer this question. I can’t remember the exact question, but in essence Mike asked me a question that lead me to inspect what was happening for me in that moment.

That question caused me to call myself on my own bullshit, and make the decision to go ahead. It was a question that I hadn’t yet asked myself.

I don’t like confronting things, and this question really confronted me. No matter what I did, I couldn’t ignore the question and this infuriated me.

Mike helped me see a truth I didn’t like. My mind wanted to look at it in every angle to deny it, and no matter what angle I looked at it from, I could see that he was right.

While that pissed me off, I realised that if he could ask me a question that did that, he could definitely help me. There was simultaneous frustration and massive respect for Mike's ability to do this through communication.

What did Andrew like about ABA's or Mike's initial approach?

I liked that the work I did was about understanding myself, and uncovering the blindspots that held me back. I love that Mike’s approach is data driven and backed by science.

The other thing that really impressed me was Mike’s willingness to go there, and hold the space, and really confront. That was important.

Another way of talking about it is that I used to say 'Yes' as a way of saying 'No.' What impressed me was Mike’s willingness to ask me questions, and keep asking questions until I couldn't do that any more. I would end up saying 'no,' and in that moment I recognised that this was exactly what I wanted and it would help me move forward.

What was Andrew's expectation of what he would receive from ABA as an outcome?

I didn’t have any expectations. I went in with a simple understanding that in the process of working with Mike, it would help me move forward. I didn’t have any expectation of how it would work.

What I wanted was to resolve the things that were holding me back, and find other ways around those patterns that had been repeating. I wanted to find other doorways.

The outcome I wanted was to make sure that I didn’t keep experiencing the frustrations I described above. Working with Mike was a way to move forward and break that cycle.